While millions of people weigh out both the pros and cons of entrepreneurship, adults with complex childhood trauma will often question – "how will my cptsd affect my business, and how will entrepreneurship affect my cptsd?" For anyone contemplating entrepreneurship as the next career move, here are 5 ways becoming your own boss can catapult your healing to the next level.
According to the census bureau, 5.1 million new businesses were registered in 2022 and ranked as the second year in a row for new businesses exceeding the 5 million mark. While the number is impressive with 63% of Americans agreeing entrepreneurship is a good career choice, only 16% of the workforce walk the path; 17.8% being male and 15.2 being female business owners.
Understandably so, entrepreneurship is often a lonely and rigorous journey filled with many foreseeable and unforeseeable challenges. New business owners spend a lot of time problem-solving in isolation without guidance or instruction. There is no dividing of grievances or doubling of joy with colleagues who share common ground, no one holding them accountable for their slack or an acknowledging pat on the back when shining in their genius every so often.
On the flip side, what makes entrepreneurship so attractive is that there’s absolute autonomy and ownership of one’s time and development. The ability to flex our creativity and bask in our glory at the reach of every milestone is a delicious dream come true and a much needed benefit for our self-esteem. The opportunity to build an empire with uncapped wealth with complete independence remains the top reason for bosses reporting higher positive well-being and life satisfaction compared to their employed constituents.
1. Self-discipline, the universal muscle
Ask any successful businessman/woman what the secret to their success is and 38% will answer “taking action” or “persistence”. To take action persistently, especially during times of uncertainty, hardship, or when you’re strapped for cash takes a lot of guts, self-assurance, and discipline. Keep in mind that uncertainty, hardship, and the need for cash don’t go away when someone becomes “successful” but rather, adversities become easier to overcome.
Such is the case with recovery. Actively managing the physical symptoms of trauma prepares us for true healing at the soul level through self-discovery and loving relationships. Rehabilitating our nervous system with exercise, proper nutrition, restful hours of sleep, and repairing our brain injury with joyful, lively activities and relationships are all necessary for recovery. It takes a great amount of discipline to pick the tougher choice each time, every day.
Entrepreneurship, like recovery, requires you to put your best foot forward consistently and constantly. The more we practice, the stronger our disciplinary muscles grow. “Unlike the muscles in your body, discipline is a universal muscle. It may not seem like it, but being able to turn your phone off for 24 hours, even though it is completely unrelated to exercise, will help to train the same muscle that will get you to wake up for the gym at 5:30 AM.” Mastering self-discipline in one area will permeate the other areas of your life. This is why we see people successful in business also generally succeed in managing their health, family life, interpersonal relationships, etc.
2. Quieting the inner critic
Adults with cptsd are hard on themselves, sometimes to the extreme. Constant rejection and abuse from our caregivers taught us we weren’t accepted the way we were, thus, giving birth to a raging self-critic that is quick to find fault in our thoughts, actions, and being. Abuse and neglect caused us to believe we were a danger to ourselves, that we only deserve attention when we pick apart all that’s wrong with us, or perhaps, our punishment was lessened when we were first to correct our mistakes before anyone else recognized them. Years of practice quickly shaped us into adults who only attune to the voice that constantly yells, corrects, and shames us for our choices and decisions.
Entrepreneurship provides the opportunity to test the validity of our inner critic, and with a proper recovery routine in place, starting a business can be a fantastic way of quieting its shrieking voice. As stated by Pete Walker in his book “From Surviving to Thriving”, much of our journey toward recovery relies on self-compassion while simultaneously simmering down the harshness of the inner critic, both in intensity and frequency. Learning to be ok with “good enough” is good enough.
In the beginning, when you’re often the CEO, marketing director, and assistant all at once, you’re in the unique position to see the impact of your decisions almost immediately. Many don't look back on the formative years of business and say, "I did that perfectly". Rather, most outcomes were probably “good enough” to get to the next step.
Running a business shows us we can still find success amid our imperfections. We learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and that trying our best can still yield bad results. It teaches us how to roll with the punches and become flexible and dynamic in our approach to the problems that arise. We experience mistakes and imperfections the way they should be experienced - as references for reflection and refinement, allowing us to abandon our debilitating devotion to perfectionism. We can finally view ourselves through the lens of kindness and grace and it’s here we find rest and reprieve.
3. Getting to know yourself
Business owners are never short of lists to make and tasks to cross out. We wear a dozen hats throughout the day, bouncing from one end of operations to the other with joy and excitement as we pour into our business and watch it grow. We continuously learn new skills, revisit old ones to master, chisel away at perfecting our craft, and refine our services. In the process, we rediscover parts of ourselves that laid dormant and uncover what we buried long ago. We learn so much about ourselves, what we’re good at, what we find amusing, what frustrates us, challenges us, delights us, motivates us… it’s like meeting yourself again for the first time and it’s exhilarating, sometimes bittersweet, but always healing.
“Who am I without my trauma?” It’s a question we all confront at some point during our recovery. And while some remain complacent or avoid answering this question altogether, being the boss doesn’t give much room for silence on this one. Entrepreneurship pushes us to explore our makeup beneath the surface layers and motivates us to work hard at separating ourselves from our trauma, our business is on the line! Though it can be a difficult process, reaching and reviving a part of ourselves we once believed to be lost is pretty amazing.
4. Freedom
The office was always a trigger for me and I know it is for many others with cptsd. No matter which industry I was in or what position I held, I couldn’t escape the egos or office politics that seemed present in every corporate setting. From undeserving promotions to secret alliances and distasteful policies, I was deeply troubled by the lack of integrity and morals I witnessed as my career advanced.
When I burned out from corporate, I would find interim jobs that allowed me to “check out” during my shifts. I would convince myself this was a good solution to avoiding my triggers while still making some money. But it wouldn't be long before I'd feel the pinch and more importantly, lose all motivation and enthusiasm from the lack of challenge and purpose.
Starting my own business extinguished these woes instantly. Having the freedom to pick and choose which triggers to deal with at what time in which way was a game changer in my healing process. For instance, when I anticipate meeting a challenging vendor, I prepare myself by visualizing a smile on my face throughout the entire conversation. When the time comes, I'm able to follow through on my plan, keep my composure and stay regulated which is the best-case scenario in any given situation.
As an employee, I was constantly reacting to situations and people that often triggered me without the option to exit. I felt trapped and was constantly dealing with the aftermath of dysregulation. Becoming a business owner gave me the freedom and opportunity to be proactive. This helps me stay regulated during intense moments and allows me to express a different side of myself in ways I have never done before.
5. Revealing blindspots
CPTSD can take us from zero to a hundred in .3 seconds flat and this is when a lot of damage occurs. Sadly, many adults with cptsd falsely believe their outbursts and poor judgment are an inherent part of their personality until they learn about the effects of childhood complex trauma.
A clear example of this is someone who is constantly late for work but also great at their job. The supervisor tells the employee he must respect company policy and arrive on time or risk termination. Otherwise, he’s doing a great job, his supervisor says. The employee dismisses the warning, believing there won’t be repercussions for his continued lateness. He and the supervisor are friends and they see he’s good at his job. The employee continues to be late, though apologetic each time. After a month, he is fired and he burns his bridges on his way out by throwing a tantrum full of aggression and yelling. When emotions settle, he understands why he was terminated and is deeply ashamed of his poor judgment and reaction but helplessly believes he has "anger issues" or "is a bad communicator."
In reality, chronic lateness, missing warning signs, a distorted worldview, and a shattered self-image are all residual effects of unresolved childhood trauma (though cptsd isn’t always the cause of these symptoms). Entrepreneurship can put a hard stop to this cycle of shame by revealing your blind spots and it starts with having the logical brain take charge and your emotional brain scooting to the back seat.
With our livelihood at risk, there is no other choice but to observe and carefully dissect what’s working and what’s not. We become more self-aware of our decisions and motivated toward changing what’s detrimental to the business. Entrepreneurship naturally lays the grounds for the neocortex to override limbic brain reactions. It takes time and focused attention at first, but when this becomes the standard for your business operations, it will inevitably become the standard in other areas of your life as well.
In conclusion
If you’re career trajectory is full of ups and downs and you’re worn out by the toxicity or lack of fulfillment, entrepreneurship could be the next step for you.
Don’t let cptsd stop you from pursuing your career goals. Rather, use the benefits of becoming an entrepreneur to boost your healing process. Let it open the doors to a whole new world of bliss, unrivaled satisfaction, freedom, and validation. It can be the source of your forgiveness, compassion, redemption; it can be the beginning of the life you were destined for.
It was for me, and I hope this post points you in the right direction.
God bless,
Nari